egos appear by setting themselves apart from other egos ― martin buber
some people don't need therapy, they just need someone to say to them:
stop pretending you're something you're not. stop trying to be something you're not. stop wanting to be something you're not.
and also : stop wondering why you're not something that you're not and agonising over it all night and day like a hole in your tooth that you are compelled to keep exploring with your tongue.
and shut the fuck up.
two different kinds of love : one is free-flowing and open, pragmatic and improvisational, born of trust and radical optimism. the other is closed, tightly focussed on its object and obsessive, with a laser like intensity, paranoid about interference and convinced of its own superiority.
it is the kind of love oh my brothers and sisters which has a goal, an aim. and that aim is recognition, for the magnitude of that love to be acknowledged, reciprocated, so that, in the end, the object of that love says : this is the ultimate, this is the purest most significant act of love that is possible in this one of the ten to the power of five hundred universes and the eleven dimensions.[1]
the free flowing love just flows. it doesn't concern itself with being requited or unrequited because it is unconditional and limitless. it has no aim. it may be focussed for a time on one or the other, on a single thing or being for a moment, an hour or a day but it is always ready to continue moving and unfolding in all kinds of different ways and directions.
[1] ”...that was the best orgasm i have ever had and that it is possible to have...”